So, while I was in Lahore, which btw was till three weeks
ago, my truly enthusiastic, politically charged friends heavily kept themselves
involved in multiple Jalsas and PTI support oriented bees in the bonnet! Being
the snooty Islamabadi that I’ve always been, I’d never join them… didn’t want
to stand, lost in a lahori bouquet of a million people, more than half of who
had B.O issues, didn’t not notice my perfectly self manicured finger nails, gawked
at me for having an eyebrow piercing, gave me the look that a cow on the road
en route to some village would give to the driver, pretending like the road
belonged to Daddy Cow when I spoke to them with my not so ill-fated urdu and
more importantly being cut off from bbm-ing the rest of the world due to jammed
networks! Mazel tov to the barve people who didn’t mind all that!
But now, since I’m back in Islamabad, two days ago the
politician inside me decided to manifest and here I am blogging about the first ever PTI
Jalsa I attended in Islamabad on May 10, 2013. Goes without saying I only went
for the kicks, but the sentiment slowly distorted itself into real enthusiasm
and soon I was overwhelmed by the excitement and the hope that people had! The
Jalsa was a flawless event where everyone positioned themselves at the venue with beautiful smiles that broadcasted
invigorating fervor and commitment… including my mom who kept waving her flag and
refused to go back home even an hour after the Jalsa had ended! It was
endearing!
My personal highlight of the day was the authentically bona
fide public service passion that a very dear friend, Amna Malik, instilled in
me! We went round painting over 1500 faces of friends and strangers, at lengths,
soon after the crowd started building up! No one misbehaved, everyone was too
involved… everyone, except me!
Being at the Jalsa kindled my Lahori tom foolery! I went
around staring at people; half of whom, I must add, weren’t entirely
unattractive. I snooped away, prying at the conversations they were having and “believe
you me”, as one of them so confidently exclaimed, some of the tête-à-tête was
rather remarkable! It took the Jalsa to
a completely new level…
It all started when a my friend exclaimed, after hearing man
buying corn from an opportunist vendor, complaining about how he had increased
the “rate” and over priced corn for the occasion, “Naye Pakistan may rate sahee
ho ga!” and burst out laughing herself!
Another, being bugged by one of her friends for not wearing
shalwaar kameez to the jalsa and being unable to cover her head during azaan
thereof, screaming ,“Tabdeeli la rahee hou may – Naya Pakistan!” and her friend
responding to her statement with “Aisa naya Pakistan tau gaya Pakistan!”
While painting the faces of complete strangers with my
friend who had the red paint while I had the green, I heard someone saying “Yaar
in dono ko shaadi kar leni chahiye... PTI marriage!” and another, responding to the infinitely noble idea with, “Politically correct!” Hear that Amna? Do I hear
wedding bells?
An aunty sniffing away like a cat confirmed, “Yahan kissi ne
pleasures lagai hui hai… may bhi apni laai hui hou!”. Having said that, she
struggled with the items inside her gigantic bag and dug out a perfume bottle
and sprayed some on herself! How cute… I love people who smell nice!
A young boy with spiked up hair went on and on lecturing his
friend about how great PTI was and that no one other than Imran Khan was worthy
of his vote. After a million years of his endlessly inspiring speech his friend
slapped his head and followed the gesture with “O demagh na kha yaar! Tub bolna
jub 18 saal ke ho jao gy!” Tch! Tch! Why was the little enthusiast was not told
the entire election affair was PG 18!
One from a gossip girl inspired bunch of girls wearing a hair
bands complained to who I assumed to be her BFF, “Woh larka mujhay dekhay ja raha hai and I’m not even looking at him”, to
which her BFF rolled her eyes and said “How do you know he’s looking at you if you’re
not looking at him? Anyways take my picture with my PTI flag”. She instantly
arranged herself into a pose with a victory sign and demanded a look at what
had been captured. Dissatisfied with the photographers failure she exclaimed “Dubhara
lo, mera pout theek nahi aaya!”
Another from the same bunch later exclaimed she’d walk up to
Imran Khan personally post-elections and tell him that she had voted for him
and that he should marry her thereof! Sigh… If only getting married was that
easy!
What was classic was a woman tick tocking her way towards
the main stage before the jalsa had started to avoid the mob of people hosting
the late comers who had to struggle their way in before they were even close to
the stage, let alone next to it. Her heels, though gorgeous, weren’t the
classic element, it was the fact that she had brought along her personal help,
or should I say a slave, to carry her purse for her, that was beyond something
that could be ignored!
Another such high maintenance girl sat down, closed her eyes
and nodded her head horizontally for a good 2 minutes! I instantly knew she was
overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of those around her. And I realized I was right, but
only, on a different perspective after I heard her say “Uff itnay log hai
yahan, mujhay to saans nae aa raha.” Poor damsel in distress, I wish someone
had told her this wasn’t going to be an invite only, exclusive rendezvous!
The PTI aficionado that my mom is, she wandered off into the
crowd with her flag that looked like all the other million PTI flags there! So I
had to go in search of her. Beyond a point there was just no space to even step
on the ground, there were too many people. A boy stopped me from going any further
to avoid getting lost myself. I told him I was looking for my mom. We were
standing right next to the speakers so I had to yell it out for him to
comprehend. And his expert advice for me was “Call her”… and I thought to
myself “What an idea sir jee… she’d be able to hear me soo clearly just like
you could”.
I acknowledged his concern and told him that the signals
were jammed and I couldn’t call her thereof. Instead, he said, “Why don’t you
just text her then.” I just wanted to bang my head against the speaker but I prepared
and froze myself into a forced smile walked away with the expression still on.
It was hilarious! The Jalsa was not only informative, but
entertaining too! Honestly, it felt great. I went home satisfied! At least… now
I know I’ll be voting! Voting for change… voting for Naya Pakistan!
P.s: Live tweet @FaizaanAhab: I plan on wearing my mint chinos to the polling station! :P Lets bring change with style! Forever Pakistani...
* All content has been posted in good humour and I apologise if I offend any of my readers who happen to be one of the people I've written about.
* Photo credit: Tepu Malik, Jehanzeb Aftab and Sulmeen Ansari
* Photo credit: Tepu Malik, Jehanzeb Aftab and Sulmeen Ansari
